My experience reading “Renaissance Self Fashioning” and “Better Living through Criticism” has surmounted to an immense amount of self reflection and internal thought. We have grappled with philosophical and personal ideas and turmoil that has resulted in an almost total recall of my own personal beliefs and philosophical understandings. I think this is most reflected in my page of my CPB where I attempt to draw out the specific diagrams for the relationship of self to authority and alien as well as the process of self fashioning.This diagram shows my attempt to visualize my thoughts and my attempted understanding of the concepts presented. Often times in my CPB I attempt to describe my thought processes and understanding of the lengthy summations we as a class come to, but it almost always results in a rather messy culmination of spare words and thoughts that I begin but am unable to piece together. Fortunately, this struggle has improved greatly for me as I have been able to formulate my ideas and think more before I speak. In my earlier CPB page in which I am attempting to explain the purpose for each individual audience he may be speaking to, it is clear that I am desperately trying to connect each of my individual thoughts into coherent ideas that I have in my head. Arrows and eraser marks flood the page making it almost incomprehensible, but as the CPB continues we see less eraser marks and a much more coherent thought process where I am able to truly comprehend, disect, and describe the problems or comments I have regarding “Renaissance Self Fashioning”. I have been very happy with my personal progress as I have seen myself grow into a much more contemplative and positively hesitant person, but I am even more excited to see how my newly formed thought process translates when we begin reading fictional and other classical pieces of literature. I believe that I will be able to gain a new form of insight that is not simply my first response and reaction and a continuous process with that response as the base but one that is open and constantly willing to be changed and bent with the means of truly understanding the concepts and meaning. I am also excited to incorporate the new methods of deliberate textual reading that I have adopted through the class. I believe the understanding of purpose behind sentence structure and word placement is a skill that I am only now beginning to understand and find meaning within, so although I feel like I would have gained a lot more from historical and literary classics that I have read in the past, I am not looking to the past but instead excitedly gazing towards the future and towards a future of excitement and passion for literature and all that it has to offer. I am excited to see how the grueling yet rewarding work will apply to Metamorphoses and Paradise Lost; I have heard that Paradise Lost can be a difficult read for many people, so I hope that our close reading and purposeful search for the true meaning of the story gives me a new patience and passion for even the slowest of novels and historical texts.
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Avsha WeinbergArchives
November 2019
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